Giving versus just getting value....training your "connections-based" mind

I really don't know many people who have literally done it on their own. Sure there are those who live in the genius category, seemingly able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and do it with ease and alone. But if I were to guess the other 99% of us have relied upon others to help, support and mentor even when we didn't know we had asked for it, needed it or even wanted it.

For this reason, I think that as we move through life and in our careers that we take a real look (e.g., pay attention) at how we can better create a connections-based mind. I call it that because it is a way of thinking all the time not just something that you do when you have to or feel obligated. It's like gratitude - who wants to have someone thank them knowing that they really don't give a hoot? Right, no one.

So how do we create a connections-based mind? Well, like any professional athlete, spiritual guide or leader, we need to practice, practice, practice. Kinda like meditation for connecting. While we do have many products around that help us connect socially like FB, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest and LinkedIN, how do we train our minds to do more conscious listening? How can we pick up on a person's unique attributes and then as we store them (our brain is much bigger and better at this than any social app...at least today) start to make direct connections to those who can use his/her help, service, employment, reference, mentorship, etc?

I started doing this unconsciously many years ago and found that not only did it make me feel good (and stroked the ego a bit too) it also came back to me in spades. I've been spending time with some pretty cool cats as of late who are really practicing doing well by doing good and it's inspired me to make a effort, each day, to make a connection.

So how does it work? Every day, I spend a few moments thinking about what I am grateful for. This puts me "in the mood" to share and also tends to open up my brain a bit - kinda like a CRTL ALT DEL. I reset whatever it is that may be negative and I focus on the positive things that are all around me.

Next I make a game out of connecting. I take a moment after each email (and I get a lot) to think about who else would want to know this person, hear about their idea and what would give someone else energy be it money, happiness, love, motivation, etc. Each week I look back at how many connections I have made and it makes me smile. Not only that, but though this simple practice my in-box constantly amazes me with referrals, new business opportunities, job offers, speaking engagements, etc., etc.

I also ran across a great article in Fortune Magazine that really talks about the 7 Pillars of Connecting With Absolutely Anyone. Loved the article and think that making an effort by using the tools we have and doing a bit of re-tooling of our own brains will bring a multitude of connections, gratitude and "energy" to everyone that you meet.

Happy Connecting!!!

How or will you be valued in the future?

A friend of mine, Steven Wolfe, reposted a great link last week about the coming of the Machine Adge that was published in the NY Times. Steven urged everyone to read it and, well, I did. When people I know and value tell me to read something it's because it struck a cord with them and I in turn think it will with me.

The gist of the article is really about people who bring value to businesses in an increasingly technology-centric world. The article states that the winners will be those those who are conscientious and want to learn. Those who use and work with technology. Those who are motivators, coaches and mentors. And those that have a marketing touch.

I liked the part about marketing and the "touch". While it is true that with machines and technology we can do amazing things but capturing the attention of customers with just the right human touch will command an increasing premium especially when we live in such a frenetic and fragmented media world.

Which brings me back to value. All of the above are necessary to move ahead but I think that understanding and capitalizing on your value (whatever that may be) and knowing how to integrate and sell it is also part of a winning strategy.

What employer or client ever said "well no, we really don't want you to bring value when we hire you"? Right: Nobody ever did.

Getting older does have its advantages in finding your value. Learning by trial and error (or by setting yourself on fire a few times) does give you the sense to wear asbestos underwear when required.

Personally I've learned that leading is really hard and exhausting but did find that if I was able to look at all the pieces of a business and then understand how they were integrated, made leading much more fun and I think I was more valuable. Once I understood that this way of "seeing things" made my overall job easier, I was drawn to companies, assignments or and business challenges that needed and could leverage my value. All this from a girl that could't stand puzzles as a kid!

The big question is then how will we all uncover, honestly analyze, grow, change and then really sell through our value in upcoming years? What do you think?

Job references and value

A few years back I was stunned by a call that I received from a good friend, Steve Halland, whom I had worked with in the early 90's.

He told me that he had been really surprised that when he was searching for work as a technology executive that many of the people that he had met and worked with for years wouldn't even take his call or avoided him.

He said that that experience changed his perception about not only looking for work but also how his valued network didn't provide much value at all. He vowed that he would never do that to anyone and would always take the time to talk even if he didn't have a direct referral to give.

As we've changed roles over the years and have gone on to do very different things, I have always tried to keep what Steve said in the forefront of my mind when folks have reached out. Just today I got a call from Ana Luisa Wu. I interviewed her about four years ago and really thought she was a very smart and articulate person with a great background in Hispanic marketing/media including an MBA from Cal Berkeley. While we didn't eventually fill the role, I did keep her in my network.

When she reached out today I tried to provide as much value and advice (and contacts) as I could. I also let her know that I was here in case she wanted to talk again and would be open to helping if I could.

I could tell that even that short 1/2 hour meant a lot to her. That she truly appreciated the advise and contacts. It not only made me feel good (and hopefully increased my good karma) but also I provided real value to someone in need.

Let us all not forget the value that we possess and how by just taking a small bit of our time how much it could mean in the life of someone else.

What is Value?

What is Value? I started talking using the word “value” a few years back. I’d sprinkle it into conversations with clients and potential clients but never really did understand the meaning nor significance of the word.

After selling our company, Todobebe, last year I found myself at a cross roads of sorts. Did I want to stay in the same industry? Did I want to pursue other interests and if so, how would I make a living?

The word value came back into my vocabulary one afternoon in December while meeting with a potential client (Mediavest) in NYC. I’d flown up for what they believed would be a “job” for me but as I went through meeting after meeting (taking notes and asking more questions) I realized that what they needed was someone to come in and assess the situation and see how best to provide value in turning things around.

After this first meeting, I wrote up my notes along with a mind map of the issues and potential areas where I could provide value. I told them that rather than hire me full time that we should date before we got married and they could test me out to see if I really could provide value to the organization and situation.

My two-month gig, (which required me to relocate to NYC in the dead of winter from Miami no less), turned into six months of wonderful work with a great group of people and a wonderful client, Walmart. I worked hard to provide value and leveraged my skill across operations, media, and marketing and just plain people skills to pitch in and take on whatever project or task was necessary. And, I was grateful for the work and equally grateful that I felt valued by the team I worked with and the executives that hired me.

This past weekend many of you saw my post about the volunteer organization NYCares.org and my Sunday of volunteer work feeding 1400 homeless, low income, mentally ill and otherwise marginalized men and women.

As I’ve continued using the word value, I realized that I needed to reach beyond just my work life and extend the word into my personal life as well. I needed to provide value to people who didn’t know me, couldn’t buy my services but were nonetheless equally grateful for the value of a hot meal, a smile, a touch on their shoulder and yes even some LOL moments.

Providing value to me isn’t just a word anymore and it’s not just how I work or what I strive to bring to my clients – it’s now something that I think consciously about daily and try to ensure that I leverage it to its full potential. And, along the way if I am very lucky I may even reach my full potential too.